Awkward situations

   So, funny thing happened to me tonight(See, what had happened was.... hah). ANYWAY, I was going to grab something from a buddy's house. On my way over there dude gives me a call. My car's over heating says he. can you swing by the store for me?  Sure thing, says I. Being the helluva nice guy I am, I don't think twice. He asks me to buy him 2 wild stallions. So, in my mind I'm thinking this product will help his overheating car. I wander in to the little auto section at the shell, no luck. I ask the gentleman behind the counter. Turns out these are sex pills. not only are they sex pills, but they're sex pills he's currently out of. I kind of know this guy, so he immediately gives me shit. "You need beeg harrrdd deeekk meester cammerrronn? what for?" "...chill out fool." so now I've gotta call my buddy(who's a dude btw) and ask his preference on the remaining sex pill options. Fuck it, there's a line now, damage is done. I might as well just do the damn thing.

   The story behind all this is, his girl's outta town. I figure dude's got some oats to sew or something. Not the coolest thing in the world, but who am I to judge? I don't know the situation. So I go up to the door, and knock on it. A dude answers the door, but not my dude. Some other dude, in a bathing suit and a deep v tee-shirt I might add. he calls my buddy and buddy comes out of the back room. Wearing a wife beater and pajama pants no less. We do our business and I leave. End of story.....But not really.

   I mean come on dude. Really? Really?  REALLY MAN? Seriously chief? You're gonna have me buy you sex pills for strange gay adventures? Cheating on your girl with a DUDE on a fucking Wednesday night? That shits fucked. In more ways than one(couldn't resist). The least you could do is give me the heads up before I make an ass of myself in the stab-n-grab. Gonna have me buyin damn sex pills in a crowded ass store. I don't like that stuff.... And that there's what I did with my Wednesday. Yup. seriously though, how many gay pride points do I really need? I already worked at a gay bar. How much is enough for you people!?!?!

   The funniest part of this story though, is the poor guy working at the shell. He's one of these dudes who tries  hard to be an american. I mean REALLY hard. He asks me about my tattoos, where I buy my clothes, why I drink cheap shitty beer in giant cans etc. Nice guy, he really is. However, let this be a warning to the immigrants among you! Do what we Americans have been doing all our lives... Fucking avoid other people. Avoid them like the fucking plague. Seriously man. Know why? 'Cause one night some dude you thought you knew will draw you into a conversation about the pros and cons of over the counter sex pills. NO warning, no warm up, no cause, no rhyme or reason. Just Blam! And then where will you be? left behind the counter at a shitty convenience store. Thoroughly confused, violated, and left with a diminishing customer base. And that my friends, is just nowhere you want to be. Wait a minute, that's not too far from where I am.... Shit.