Shit that irks me

   Here in this second installment of "shit that irks me" we shall be covering several subjects. Mainly because they are subjects of little concern, and only mildly irk me. Unlike socks... filthy cotton bastards.

   Anyhoozle, on to the matter at hand; Dusty wood floors. Yep, that shit. Anyone who has wood floors knows that going barefoot is  hazardous. You know what? sometimes I like to roll barefoot(see: 'Lil Cam Cam's sock issues). BUT, anytime I do my feet always wind up covered in dust. tiny little bits of nothing that hardly qualify as particulate matter, yet irk the balls outta me on the daily. So I sweep the floor... Nothing. still dust all up in my toes. So I mop(  note that Dude's idea of mopping involves spraying windex on the floor, then sweeping it with a bar-towel on the end of a broom(see also: the ghetto swiffer) -Ed.) and STILL the shit lingers. Fuck me, I guess. I swear God does it just to watch me do battle with my sock drawer.

   This next bit I'd like to dedicate to the right side of my mustache: If only you could be like the guy on the left. But no, like a bastard step-child you continually fall short. Disappointing me at every turn... For those of you without a 'stache, please allow me to explain; The left side curls itself into the perfect handlebar. Every time. Without wax. The very image of perfection. The right however, does not. It bunches up, curls all the wrong way, and generally just looks goofy. Even WITH wax the little bastard just isn't-quite-right. Just, always off enough to make me think about it every time I look in the mirror. Fucking obnoxious I tell you. Fucking obnoxious... that is all for today, Carry on.